Drifting Mind

No longer younger, that how we are now

Fight for our own battle, that kind of life we were living

I know it impossible to go back there,


How exactly you picturing me as a friend?

Sometimes I am afraid just to seeing you

I could not said what was in my mind

The thought that we would become estranged is scare me

I treasure our friendship, our history so much

So why, every time we talked, I feel like being judged?

Maybe, now, I was just being a sensitive female being. An envious human.

Could I beg people to being nice?

Could you hold my hand and hug me close even if we drifted far from that one direction?

Could you still be by my side even if we pick different side in the road?

Could I still be loved even if I am an imperfect human being on this noisy world?


I fear loneliness

But I fear to lose myself even more….

I don’t need to be forever right

But I want to be forever human…

If my thought is wrong

If what I belief is biased

Could it be my own battle?

Not the battle between you and me?


My Personal Rank for Best Japanesse Drama in 2018

2018 was my come back year to j drama fandom. So, I guess there is no better way to close this year’s end than write something about that, right? πŸ˜€

If I should to rank the dorama in 2018 that I’ve already watch so far, my personal rank would become in this order :

(1) Unnatural – Investigation/Medical

The protagonist in this drama is Misumi Mikoto (Satomi Ishihara), a patologic physician who work for UDI lab. UDI stand for Unnatural Death Investigation (real lab in Japan), a laboratory that investigate the cause of unnatural death. Aside of Mikoto, there are Nakado (Arata Iura), another patologist with numerous experiences but has some personality issue, Kube-kun (Masataka Kubota), a fellow junior-photographer who has some kind of hidden agenda, Shoji (Mikako Ichikawa) an UDI labor technician, and the head of UDI, Kamikura. Altought it is clearly Mikoto as the protagonist, there was no wasting character in this team. They shines as the UDI team individually. Their work was about this team work, not merely Mikoto.

This show is unique and interesting. The different case in every episode is always unpredictable, full of emotion, and very very engaging. Nothing meaningless from each episode and the way it interlacing with one another to build a whole completed story were perfectly done. The casting and the way it contribute to the storyline also a good watch. It gave the interesting mystery, the lesson of humanity, the character development, the entertaining interaction, from the beginning until the end. Very impressive.

(2) Kemono ni Narenai Watashitachi/Weakest Beast- Romance

Kemono ni Narenai Watashitachi, or Kemonare, was finished airing some time ago. Many people dropped the dorama due to it slow development, hard to root for character, or somehow heavy storyline. Expect to watch long dialogue during the show, but if you kind of people who like watch the show that feel realistic enough about adult life, struggling in job, looking for what loves and relationship affect our lives, this show is a go.

The protagonist was Akira Shinkai (Yui Aragaki), employee for IT company, who did her job perfectly, logically intelligent and also caring to other. Our heroine was smart but not come to snobbish. She was kind but did not appear as innocent nor stupid. She is likable. She is the epitome of perfect woman both in her private life and in her job. But her character (kind, reliable, responsible) made it hard to avoid extra job that supposed not to be her responsibility to do and prevent her to said necessary thing that comes as unkind or would disappoint people around her. There’s a solid reason behind that, but nontheless I love her character most.

Then, there was Kosei Nemoto (Ryuhei Matsuda), an accountant, popular among woman but somehow appear ‘mean’ because of his tendency to speak as it is. Also a logically intelligent person, he didn’t let emotion got in his way. Both he and Akira were regular in 5tap, a bar near Akira’s home and Kosei’s office. At first, their conversation was superficially like stranger until they could almost read the real each other character precisely and addressed each other difficulty without being too privy.

Not only this two, another interesting character like Shuri (Haru Kuroki), Kureha (Rinko Kikuchi), Kyoya (Kei Tanaka) added the dynamic of this drama. Kyoka was Akira’s boyfriend that cohabitating with his unemployed ex-girlfriend, Shuri. Their circumstance that look frustatingly at first to watch, but along the way, it somehow feel ‘suitable?’ and understandable. At first all the character was annoying and hard to root for. But as the story progressed, we could see them in different light. i found all the character issue were relatable in the real life and I feel like recognize human as it is: struggling, longing, and suffering.

For me, Kemonare was more than a romance and relationship themed, although the way it portrayed relationship also extraordinarily a good ones too. It told the adult life, our tend to value people and ourselves. It comes to thought what right we have to put label on someone whether she/he was okay, perfect, live a miserable life, or else? How far we could change while stay true to our genuine self? It also confront our fear because of the choice we made and fear because of the change.

In relationship department it made me evaluate about values in love and relationship. Shouldn’t we like someone as human first than just simply like him/her because of love? Should love about caring our partner but not our thought? If loves serves other, is it wrong to serve us? What make we connect to a person?

This story told beautifully without exaggerated moment, with carefully tend dialogue. For me, this feel real and honest. It gave me a rollercoaster of emotion in a very fond ways. And I could not recall when the last time, I felt so compellingly drawn to human through screen like this.


Both Unnatural and Kemonare were from Akiko Nogi sensei as the scriptwriter.

I pledge that, from now, I would watch every work from her. I found her work always charming. I also love how the character always centered in woman with all her strength and issues in life without positioning man as a jerk nor secondary.

(3) DELE- Investigation.

Sakagami Keiji (Takayuki Yamada) and Yutaro (Masaki Suda) works in an IT company called dele.life that specialise in deleting all electronic data from deceased client. Kei was the founder but has limited ability in field because he was crippled, and then Yutaro comes to did some of job that Kei could not do, basically confirmed the client’s death.

An intriguing premises that deliver in each episode. Should we leave any trace of our existence in digital data? What it mean if we did that? What would we did if it would hurt or cause harm to another person? The story not carefully threaded as whole storyline like unnatural but still enjoyable.

Aside from this three, here’s another j drama in 2018 that I had finished:

1. Hana Nochi Hare- Youth, School RomCom

Hana nochi hare could not compete with the other in storyline (cheesy enough about rich boy fall for poor girl) and script department, but it was excitingly enjoyable and I have had many LOL moment while watching. This show was the one that remind me of the joy by watching jdrama. Thus, Hana Hare, become one of my favourites drama from this year too.


I became a fan of Sugisaki Hana after watching this show and ‘Her Loves Boils Bathwater’.

2. Todome no Kiss

Good storyline with abundant good looking actors. It didn’t really hooked me in the earlier episode, but in continuity it’s become interesting. The character development is good and quite engaging, but I just don’t feel the ‘right’ push to be put this one as the best dorama. Maybe because there’s another drama with better storyline of the thriller/psychological aspect?

3. Eerie Mienai Kao

4. Good Doctor

5. Princess Jellyfish

6. Cold Case Season 2 – Investigation/Thriller (Great and Great)

This series would beat dele and kemonare (and I was really conflicted for unnatural or this one) as my personal best drama in 2018, but being broadcast by WOWOW made this one an outlier for me. The casting, the storyline, and the cinematography are so perfectly done. In my opinion, this season made me emotionally wrecked than season 1. This drama is really that good.

Drama in 2018 that I watched by number of episode but not finished (because of various reason) were:

1. Kyo Kara Ore Wa

2. The Confidence Man JP

Have finished this one recently. And what a ride that was. The earlier episode about the scam scheme didn’t always caught my attention but it’s getting better and better. Masami Nagasawa was fun to watch too. Highly recommended. Fun and Fun. It was not my best 3 thought, but became another favourite of mine.

3. Dairenai (Although Erika Toda and Muro Tsuyoshi were good tandem in this and extremely engaging to watch)

4. Gibo to Musume no Blues

5. Suits JP

6. Black Pean

7. Legal V

8. Miss Sherlock

9. Himomen

10. Way too Kawaii

Older drama that I’ve been watch recently and become personal favourite were:

N no tameni (2014)

Code Blue series (2006, 2008, 2017)

(still surprising that I had missed this ones during my college day as all about japan fandom)


All my thanks to all the english subber and indonesian subber that make it possible for me to enjoy this shows. Thank you.

Being a Parent maybe the Hardest Thing in Life

This posting was something that came up to my mind after a phone conversation with a friend of mine.

I was not a mother myself, but I never thought there is another experience that could surpassing than giving a birth: a bet between the verge of death and alive. And then, a mother job does not end up with giving birth. Being a father seem a though job too. Not limited to being breadwinner, a father should become the leader and the protector for his child and his wife. Both is a lifetime comitment. An absolute devotion.

Knowing that, it seem unthinkable there is parent out there who could intentionally hurt their child. But it does happen.

There is a friend of mine in elementary school that got ruined because of his mother affair. Once a brilliant student, this friend of mine didn’t even finish his junior high school. His jobless single mother impregnated by a married man (he had three children already) whom work as a religious teacher, out of wedlock. A juicy gossip in a small village. It was a mess. The mother, young and in desperation, exploit her child to do housework, she did not let him go to school sometimes. I recall my last meeting with him vividly even almost years passed by. He said just one sentence to me while we accidently passed by in street: “so now, you are a university student” and he was smiling. I never felt sadness and confused all at once like those one times. Of all thing he could said, why that sentences? We were not even close back then. And why smiling, when I hardly see him smile during his school day after that accident? I was heartbroken.

Another friend of mine, left by her father when she was 4. Her father just took the second wife and left her mother. No divorces. No child support. Never once, even when she suffered because of life threatening disease that his father come to be by her side.

And another one, just afraid to love because of she witnessing her parent arguing during her childhood.

There is parent out there who unintentionally hurt their children, too. But intentionally or not, it does not make it less hurt.

I have my own story to tell, ofc.

My parent maybe the best parent I could ever ask. They are the most amazing people. They let me grow. They give me freedom without being too detached. They support almost all my decision. But seeing my parent make me scare of attachment. I simply didn’t see my parent happy with their marriage. I often wonder what good to be together if it means you hurt each other? What is the point of life and bearing children, when you despise all your entire time within each other company so bad? It hurt when your mother complained a lot about your father for almost all your life. It hurt when your father did not do something to make your mother happy. It hurt because you seem could not forgive them although years passed by. It make you feel guilty just by simply being and just by feeling those way. I shouldn’t be a complainer nor a mourner.

It left me wondering, marriage is not easy. And being parent is hard in another level. It more than procreate, providing good school, and gave loves to a child. There’s no guidelines to be a good one. Yet, it still demanded to be a good one, if not a perfect one. There’s no clear parameter. But it affect a lifetime.

Being parent is big decision, it would never be easy, but sometimes we just tend to be careless about that.

War Museum of Siam Reap: A Lesson about History and Humanity

Selain angkor, tempat lain yang harus dikunjungi jika ke Siam Reap, Kamboja (pendapat personal saya) ialah war museum alias museum perang. Di museum perang ini terdapat peninggalan pesawat tempur, senjata api, hingga dokumentasi negara kamboja selama perang proxy. Bukan artefak yang unik ataupun indah memang, tapi, cerita di balik sejarah artefak artefak ini merupakan pelajaran berharga yang mungkin tidak akan terasa sama dengan artefak sejenis dari tempat tempat lainnya.

War Museum’s Entrance

Adanya pemandu sangat membantu dan sangat disarankan saat mengunjungi tempat ini. Biaya pemandu gratis, namun pemberian tip sangat dianjurkan (Well, I just realised that I used too many word of ‘sangat’πŸ˜…). Saya waktu itu yang awalnya berencana memberi tip 10 USD, setelah akhir touring, memberikan 25 USD. Abang pemandu saya saat itu, bahasa inggrisnya bagus. Penuturannya gampang dimengerti. Dan yang membuat saya sangat menghargai beliau ialah kemampuannya menyentuh hati saya dan teman saya (a not so sentimental person) tanpa kesan dibuat buat. Dari beberapa pemandu disana, memang mayoritas bahasa inggrisnya bagus dan mudah dimengerti. Beberapa pemandu di sini, bahkan merupakan saksi sejarah langsung atau anggota keluarga dari sejarah perang proxi dan Khmer merah di Kamboja.

Inside of War Museum Siem Ream

Turing saya dimulai dengan mengenalkan pesawat tempur yang dipakai saat perang proxy kamboja: pesawat tentara vietnam, pesawat cina dan pesawat dari US, kemudian saya diajak melihat kumpulan tank tempur, senjata api, foto foto sejarah, hingga miniatur kawasan ranjau darat. Sepanjang turing sejarah kamboja hingga sejarah kelam Khmer merah pelan pelan diceritakan dari peninggalan dan foto foto sisa perang yang ada di museum ini. Cerita yang meliputi:

  • Niat awal khmer merah untuk mengembalikan pemerintahan raja kamboja saat dikudeta perdana menterinya sendiri dan pengaruh campur tangan blok barat dan blok timur selama perang dingin dalam perebutan kekuasaan di kamboja.
  • Tahun tahun mengerikan dimana ideologi khmer merah menyebabkan hampir setengah penduduk Phnom Phen meninggal dunia akibat dibunuh, kerja paksa, atau kelaparan
  • Masa dimana pengembangan konsep yang membuat bergidik demi ideologi nasionalis, seperti saat seseorang kelaparan dan mencoba makan pisang yang ditanam sendiri, perut orang tersebut dibuka karena dianggap memakan barang curian, dan barang tersebut sejatinya adalah milik negara.
  • Konsep membunuh dengan peluru yang dianggap membuang buang benda berharga, sehingga pembunuhan dengan pacul lebih dapat diterima.
  • Sulit untuk percaya bahwa di tahun 1999 dinyatakan bahwa ranjau darat aktif di kamboja jauh lebih banyak dibandingkan jumlah warga negara ini. Ranjau darat ini, malah dicari untuk kemudian diambil ornamennya untuk dijual oleh warga yang tersisa demi mendapatkan uang. Orang yang saking putus asanya menyambung hidup sehingga mengambil ranjau darat tanpa perlindungan menjadi resiko yang layak diambil. Keputusasaan yang menimbulkan masalah baru, dimana kecacatan demi menyambung nyawa kerap terjadi, dan warganya jatuh lebih miskin lagi. Cerita yang sungguh lebih menakutkan dibanding film horor The Ring.

Sejarah yang diceritakan museum ini membuat menggigil, tapi ada percakapan sahabat saya dan sang abang pemandu yang membuat kami tersentuh. Teman saya bertanya apa yang dilakukan oleh anggota keluarga dari anggota Khmer merah yang masih hidup. Si abang menjawab, mereka hidup dengan baik di daerah pinggiran Kamboja. Teman saya bertanya, apakah mereka tidak dihukum? Bukannya mereka juga mendukung Khmer merah? Bukannya orang terdekat mereka lah yang membuat negeri ini menderita? Abangnya malah menjawab dengan pertanyaan ‘kenapa mereka harus dihukum? Mereka tidak salah apa apa’. ‘They didn’t do something wrong to us.’ He said just like that. And when I look in his face, I feel-I know- he meant it. I left wondering how could forgiven be this easy? Be this peaceful?

As conclusion, when visiting Siam Reap, please give some of your time to look for War Museum. It may sound not too appealing, but it is so meaningful that might left you thinking : does war bring any good? Is it worth to lose other person life for something that we fight with our life?

People and Travelling

Saya tidak bisa dikategorikan sebagai orang yang sering travelling. Namun, beberapa kali, saya menyempatkan diri untuk itu. Dalam kesempatan kesempatan yang jarang tersebut, hal yang paling meninggalkan kesan untuk cerita perjalanan saya selalu berhubungan dengan manusia: kisah orang orang yang saya temui, kebiasaan dan budaya orang orang yang jarang saya temukan dalam kehidupan sehari hari, pengalaman yang saya bagi dengan orang orang baru. Human is just fascinating.

Berada satu pesawat dengan seorang ibu ibu kaya yang terabaikan oleh anak anaknya dan mencari penghiburan dengan jalan jalan keluar negeri, mendengar cerita sopir tuktuk tentang khmer merah hingga kebiasaan makan ikan busuk sekeluarga saat ekonomi memburuk di Kamboja, mendapat pujian ‘cantik’ untuk pertama kalinya, mengunjungi kuil dan diajak ngobrol oleh orang tua sesama pengunjung, semua yang saya alami saat traveling, tidak ada yang tidak berkesan. Untuk saya, interaksi seperti ini, dengan orang asing dari lingkungan berbeda, menjadi pesona travelling paling nyata yang saya rasakan.

Satu kali dalam perjalanan saya ke Banyuwangi, Mbak Fryda, yang baik hati menampung saya, menceritakan kisah kisah para pelancong yang datang ke sana dan menginap di rumah beliau. Kisah yang meliputi:

1. Turis backpacker yang tidak bermodal. bau, dan kemana mana menumpang kendaraan dan tempat tinggal ke warga lokal. (Mbak Fryda bilang bahwa dia memahami kenapa di akun couchsurfing orang tersebut banyak yang tidak bersedia menampung dia kembali)

2. Turis Prancis yang menemukan jodohnya dengan warga lokal dan akhirnya menjadi saudara dari Mbak Fryda.

3. Pemuda tampan usia 21 tahun yang fasih 3 bahasa dan sudah mengunjungi lebih dari 8 negara, dan datang ke Indonesia karena penasaran sekaligus memanfaatkan hari libur dari pekerjaan magangnya di perguruan tinggi.

Ah, saya bahkan bisa betah mendengarkan cerita tentang tamu tamu mbak Fryda seharian. And the story come from interaction with people who travel .

Through the people, I though that human all the same but yet different. We learn, during a lifetime, about hope and how to recover about heartbreak. So like people said (mbak windry ariestanty, If I recall it right), travelling is more about people, not about places.

Menulis Personal Statement

Saya bukan seorang profesional yang bisa memberikan validasi tentang seperti apa tulisan personal statement yang baik. Topik ini, saya tulis, juga bukan sebagai petunjuk bagaimana menulis personal statement. Far from it. There is a better writing as guidelines out there, if you look for ones. Jadi, apakah sebenarnya maksud tulisan ini? Apakah saran atau sekedar curhat dalam rangka berbagi pengalaman?

The later, seem a more honest reason.

Saat saya memulai untuk menulis personal statement, kepala saya sering dipenuhi pertanyaan dan ketakutan. Apakah personal statement harus memperlihatkan sebuah pencapaian yang mencengangkan? Karir dan nilai akademis yang sempurna?

Disamping konten, kepala saya kerap dipenuhi pertanyaan dan keraguan soal kemampuan menulis saya. Apakah saya bisa menulis dengan baik?Apakah penggunaan kata saya tepat? Apakah saya menggunakan bahasa yang dapat dipahami dengan grammar yang baik?(Honestly, I didn’t have a surmounting amount of big achievement neither I felt that good in writing, especially after read a bunch of good writing in blogs, books, and speech)

At the end, the wary, even if necessary, does not matter. You begin when you just write.

You should just begin to do the writing itself.

Sebelum saran/curhat ini ditulis lebih lanjut, begini definisi dari personal statement, versi berbagai sumber yang saya tulis ulang.

Apakah sebenarnya personal statement?

Personal statement merupakan tulisan yang dapat menggambarkan seorang individu kepada orang lain yang tidak dikenal, sehingga pihak pembaca dapat menilai tujuan, arah dan pemikiran penulis. Personal statement dapat berupa narasi atau deskripsi dan biasanya merupakan bagian untuk melamar sekolah, beasiswa atau pekerjaan tertentu.

Apa yang harus ditulis untuk personal statement?

Mulailah dengan perkenalan diri dan kenapa menulis personal statement.

Apa yang menjadi kekuatan suatu personal statement?

Personal statement intinya ialah agaimana seseorang menggambarkan dirinya dengan baik lewat tulisan. Jadi menulis personal statement memperlihatkan seseorang sebagai personal, bukan sekedar individu. Sehingga yang membaca merasa mengenal si penulis tidak sebatas superfisial, bukan sekedar seorang yang bisa ditemui di jalanan begitu saja tanpa meninggalkan kesan apa-apa.

Pendapat pribadi saya, kekuatan personal statement seseorang adalah ketulusan. You do not need stellar academic achievement to write good personal statement but you should put sincerity on your writing. Hal hal yang benar benar kita sampaikan lewat tulisan. Tanpa kebohongan. Pencapaian yang kecil, tapi relevan, kalau ditulis dengan baik dan jujur akan terasa lebih bermakna dibanding pencapaian yang besar namun tidak menggambarkan arti pencapaian tersebut bagi penulisnya. Pencapaian yang tidak relevan akan terlihat sia sia jika tidak menggambarkan pentingnya hal tersebut untuk tujuan yang ingin dicapai.

Sederhananya penulis personal statement memulai dengan mengenali diri sendiri dan jujur kepada diri sendiri: siapa penulis ini, apa yang menjadi kekuatan/dasar sehingga pembaca merasakan niat dan tujuan dari si penulis dalam menuliskan hal tersebut? Apa yang ingin dicapai penulis? Apakah rencana jangka panjang relevan dengan rencana jangka pendek saat ini?

Apa yang harus disiapkan dalam personal statement?

Latihan menulis ialah hal paling penting dalam menghasilkan suatu karya. Tidak terbatas latihan menulis personal statement. Menulis puisi. Menulis cerita pendek. Menulis paragraf paragraf latihan bahasa. Apapun.

Menulis personal statement tidak harus sempurna dalam sekali penulisan. Tulisan pertama sejelek apapun itu ialah produk dari bagaimana kejujuran seseorang berekspresi tentang dirinya sendiri. Produk awal jarang yang berupa produk paling baik dan berkualitas, sehingga perlu dilakukan pengecekan, revisi dan upgrade. Membaca ulang dan meminta teman yang dipercaya untuk masukan atau kritikan soal tulisan yang telah ditulis, sangat membantu dalam memoles tulisan awal.

At the end, when you read the personal statement you already wrote, then you felt a ‘tug’ in your heart and you finally come to the sense of that you are heading in the clear destination in your head, that it is. You just know.

About Sexual Harrasment

Baru baru ini, saya membaca berita tidak biasa tentang drama kehebohan pertentangan seorang artis indonesia dengan fans seorang artis kpop. Usut punya usut, ternyata si artis sempat mengeluarkan perkataan nggak enak (yang sangat tidak layak untuk ditulis ulang) tentang artis kpop tersebut. Saya gemes banget saat tau seorang laki laki bisa bicara tentang seorang perempuan menggunakan kalimat yang dikeluarkan si artis saat itu. I don’t care whether he or she famous or this all about showbiz. This matter for me not because this involve public figure, but because the deeds.

Sebelumnya, saya juga sempat mengikuti kasus seorang influencer dan vlogger wanita yang berbuntut panjang dan juga diawali oleh ucapan tidak sopan yang udah mengarah ke pelecehan sexual.

Belum lama media juga pernah mengulas kasus pelecehan seksual di kampus. Berita ini membuat saya teringat saat saya dulu jadi mahasiswa. Suatu kali nilai ujian saya sempat tidak dikeluarkan di kartu akademik, padahal saya mengikuti ujian tersebut. Saya harus ujian ulang. Nah, ujian ulang ini diadakan di ruang dan koridor yang sepi dan jarang dikunjungi orang dan diawasi oleh dosen yang terkenal genit di kampus saya. Dua orang kakak kelas saya sebelum ujian malah mewanti wanti saya dengan meminta saya membawa teman untuk menemani selama ujian. Cerita dari salah seorang kakak kelas saya itu, ada mahasiswa keluar dari ruangan si bapak dengan hijab yang berantakan.

Untungnya saya tidak menemui kejadian buruk saat itu. Tapi mendengar cerita itu dan mengetahui kalau tingkah dosen tersebut (yang buat saya sudah ke sexual harrasment karena disini melibatkan power dosen ke mahasiswi), sudah jadi rahasia umum, saya marah plus kesal setengah mati. Saya kesal dengan dosen dosen lain yang mendiamkan hal itu. Saya kesal dengan lingkungan pendidikan. Harusnya sistem pendidikan melindungi siswa, tapi ini? Maybe this society have too much to handle. (Saya dengar si bapak sudah pensiun sekarang dan his life look like just fine)

Sungguh saya bingung, kenapa ada manusia yang tidak bisa tidak dilahirkan dari rahim seorang perempuan, dengan mudahnya melihat wanita (yang bahkan dia tidak kenal) di pikirannya semata sebagai objek seksual bukan sebagai manusia utuh yang punya hak untuk memilih, mengambil keputusan antara ya dan tidak.

Saya lebih gemas lagi, setelah hiruk pikuk panjang, berbulan bulan kemudian kasus pelecehan seksual sering tidak tertangani dan pelakunya jarang yang mendapat hukuman (not something unusual) walaupun kadang dampaknya sudah sangat serius, misalnya di kasus perkosaan dan KDRT. Dan nggak jarang pelaku pelecehan seksual seorang wanita direncanakan atau dibantu atau di dukung oleh wanita lain. Hal lain yang juga sulit saya mengerti.

Sexual harrasment is about power, and power surely can bring pleasure. But what good it brings? Is it too tempted to bring another down while someone gain victory? Is it the fate of human being? To achieve that so called power? To be more than just an average person? I couldn’t understand, still.

The speaking words of thought