Love, Mother, and a Son

Love colouring our whole life. In many ways and shape.

But maybe the most powerful, most affecting, most outrageous, most disturbing and also most destroying have been experiencing between parents and their child. Especially mother.

Such event make me conclude that.

I had a friend from elementary school once. He was a poetry’s boy who red all kind of poem beautifully. Even, he became a reading poet champ in the district. With his good looking figure, his achievement in the first place for academic grade and also reading event, his quit attitude, he had become an example of the perfect boy specimen in my country. He was my school teacher’s darling, his mother’s pride.

This friend of mine live with his mother, a single parent who divorced in the middle of her twenty. Although jobless, her family that consist her and her only son had been supported by her ex. They had been living normally and happily, before an affair of his mother with my (and also her son’s) school teacher went to the surface. This adultery sensationally shocking the whole community in my small country. Her partner was a married guy with at least three children and also a theologian who teach elementary student. The fact they were native and live in the same district, she got impregnate and also clashed with his wife, didn’t help. They both got married in the end, but as the second and not the main one for a man with average salary who still stuck with his first wife.

I was too young to judge (and to talk) about morality, love, background or point of view. All I know, after this shocking news, the situation being so difference with him. He was no longer intimate with poem, art, and people. He seldom to attend the school. Maybe this abnormality is a normal thing for such condition. But nothing normal when I heard his mother had abuse him verbally and physically. She tore his uniform so he couldn’t attend school, she hit and slam him in front of his other friend, she told rude thing about him-how he was so disappointing, how naughty he had been compared to his brother, how he wasted his day while-in fact he was babysitting his brother and do all the housekeeping -to the people right in front of him. Through the years he slowly transform to be what his mother said. A rebel son, who couldn’t finish his school. He drunk, he smoke, he fight dirty. But all the year, I never heard him cursed or made a trigger to fight with his mother, I never heard he did such a totally harm action to another human being.

I remember the last time I met him without making a stop in the street when I was a university student. He said “Hi, you are a university student, aren’t you?” I should be proud, but the sound of bitterness in his word make me feel ashamed. Because I couldn’t help him, even being a good friend to talk to. It didn’t mean there’s none who tried to help him. I heard his father tried to pursuing his legal right to stay with him, I heard an aunt tried to bring him out of the town, but he stay still, got some odd job to do.

From what I heard when I was a little bit older, the money which was sent regularly to his mother by her ex, no longer been receive ever since the adultery (or maybe since the wedding) being known. She had herself, a son and an unborn child to support that time and also a social issue to face. Maybe that too much for her. Maybe the path that her son choose should just happened such. Maybe she did love her children but show it in the wrong way. But that didn’t stop me to think, should a bad action, wrong decision by parent victimized innocent part-their own children. Somehow the friend of mine remind me unconditional love from the parent have to be enough. And I thankful. A sincere affection of mother is not a usual thing. Sometimes it’s everything.

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