Resign..resign..resign… This word have been buried in my mind since the last 6 months. I guess I am not the only one who got bored+unlike her first job, but funnily (or pathetic) love the money and still wake up in the morning for working. Yes, I am a slave of money now.
Get bored is the easiest reason that I could offer to myself (How lucky they who could enjoy their work and love the way they do that!).. but the number and the grade of the reason have been increasing day by day, so let me saw who I really am and what I really wanna do by doing this pshyco-analysis for myself.
Maybe jealously is one of the most prominent factors. I always feel uneasy when I saw my friends make move while I still the same. I wanna make moves too, but I don’t know where I wanna go.. Do you know what is harder than fighting for a dream?
Don’t know exactly what your dream is… And put don’t have any confidence in the next level..
Incompetent and too much expectation are my next reason. I expect myself for able to read new thing, expand new knowledge, with less limitation. Sometimes I wonder is it too much to ask? Am I don’t deserve to discover those?
I won’t say there’s nothing good that come with my job. Maybe just the ungrateful myself. But when I wake up in the morning the first thought that come inside in my mind is “would you’d like to do this for the rest of your life?”
I hate someone who always complaining when exactly he always have a choice for his chagrin. But I am near to those people. In this case, I also have a choice: take it or leave it. Because the first point is not what I wanna choose, its clear that I have to take the other option.. But I am scared, I don’t want to find another job which were similar (can’t read book, can’t expand new knowledge, caught within the same administrative repetition day by day) with my recent job, or moreover worse than what I’m going to left. Am I expect too much for something that I don’t know what exactly is? Although I am not ready to be a jobless, I don’t know what kind of job that I want! (What could become more pathetic than those!)
I create a mind game that I don’t have a courage to play with…